


The Chocolate

by morrezela



Series: Diet Series [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Succubi & Incubi, Fluff, Holidays, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 15:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4184559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morrezela/pseuds/morrezela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Sequel to ‘The Diet’: Jared frets over what to buy Jensen for Valentine’s Day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: No warnings except for a crack-ish premise
> 
> A/N: This is for my 2012 Valentine’s Day fic meme. It is a sequel/timestamp to The Diet, and it is recommended that you read that first if you haven’t yet.
> 
> All mistakes you find are my own.

When Jared was a little boy, his mother used to read him fairy tales. “Pay attention,” she would scold when he asked for something with more action in it. “Humans find these sorts of tales romantic and attractive. You need to be attractive, Jared, or you’ll never be able to feed.”

Jared had only ever seen Valentine’s Day as a blue sort of holiday that generally meant that he was going to be feeding on the sad sex of the jilted and lonely. It wasn’t his favorite flavor in the world to be honest. He much preferred Mardi Gras or the Fourth of July or New Year’s Eve or Halloween or St. Patrick’s Day or just about any day where getting drunk in a bar and hooking up was a fun, awesome thing to do.

Humans that hooked up on Valentine’s Day were always sort of maudlin about it, and Jared had never liked it even though his friends couldn’t understand why. To them the easy pick-ups of the jilted were far more fun than the fumbling sex of the mostly wasted partiers.

Then again, Jared friends also still tried to have Jensen interventions with him about once a quarter. His mother still sent him pornos and free vouchers for escort services. She refused to come anywhere near the house or even meet Jensen because, “I’m not talking to the human that has snared my baby into such deviant behaviors.”

It hurt, but Jared had known that his social circle wasn’t going to be approving when he decided to settle down with one human and have an actual relationship. They worried about him having only one source for feeding. They told tales of humans who had snared incubi into their beds and then refused to let them feed, starving the ‘monster’ for the betterment of their own people.

Jared poked ruefully at his not so perfect anymore abs and figured that Jensen was more likely to feed him to death than starve him.

The last time he saw his friends and they saw that he had just that smidgen of fat going on? He didn’t imagine the envious looks that were being shot at him. Jared hadn’t been too smug about it. Even though he had done his research and found out that humans in committed and married relationships actually had more sex than their easy and loose counterparts, he understood that his friends’ world views were being shaken up.

But just because Jared was the most well versed incubi that he knew of in human relationship knowledge, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t nervous as hell about the upcoming holiday.

Jensen was the most perfectedest perfect who ever perfected, and Jared needed to show his lover just how much he meant. Roses were definitely out as were perfume and jewelry. Sure Jensen would wear a new bracelet or watch or whatever, but Jared knew that Jensen liked the same, simple adornments. He’d wear Jared’s gift a few times to show him that he was appreciated, but then would go back to his old, beat up heirloom pieces.

Inevitably Jared would notice and feel hurt that his gift wasn’t good enough, and he figured that he might as well just avoid that scenario.

Sexy underthings and silk bathrobes were way out of the question. Not that Jensen wouldn’t enjoy them, and they’d be certain to have a good time, but sex was always going to have that connotation of feeding with them. There wasn’t a way around it. Jared couldn’t have sex and not feed, and even though it didn’t bother Jensen most days, Jared was sure that there had been times when those eyes had asked, “Do you want to because you love me and want me, or are you just hungry?”

Jared hated those times. He hated more the times where he wasn’t sure of the answer.

It was one of the reasons that he was so determined to do Valentine’s Day right. He wanted Jensen to feel special, and Jared didn’t trust himself enough to stray from traditional venues of gift giving. He wasn’t human, wouldn’t ever be human, so sticking to their tried and true methods was the best policy.

A card would be nice, but it was hardly romantic enough for his taste. Plus Jensen recycled all of the Christmas cards he’d gotten fairly quickly, so he wasn’t the holding on to cards type. Then again, that might’ve been because some of his extended family had seen fit to exclude Jared from their season’s greetings even though Jensen had made it perfectly clear at his cousin’s wedding that Jared was his boyfriend and that they were in a committed relationship.

The funny thing was that Jensen’s relatives did it simply because Jared was a boy. He didn’t want to think about what they would do if they found out that he was an incubus. He’d heard horror stories about that. In fact, his friends and mother had seen fit to regale him with many tales of human relationships gone wrong that ended with the incubus being roasted alive for taking advantage of their human lover. Either by the family of the lover or the lover himself when he grew tired of the incubus.

In any case, cards were a waste of money. Stuffed animals were cute, and Jared was tempted to buy several of them until he realized that was just because he liked and wanted them. The giant, long black dachshund with the bright pink floppy ears and heart shaped chest called out to him, all lonely up on the top shelf of the store, but he resisted because he was there for Jensen.

And the only traditional thing left that he could get Jensen was chocolates. Jensen liked chocolates, and they were a very normal standby gift. With Jared’s process of elimination, the decision had seemed easy. Then he was in the candy aisle and faced with the mother of all decisions. Dark or milk? Caramels or whips? Nuts or mints? Chewy or truffles?

It was like a giant landmine created for poor, innocent incubi who hadn’t a sniff about what to do for a stupid, human holiday. He didn’t even know what brand was the best. Sure he’d had chocolate. He’d had more than his fair share over the years of seducing people back to his place for a quick snack, but it wasn’t like he ever developed a particular taste for any of them.

He was a horrible judge of human food. He knew what Jensen liked for his meals only through careful detailing and observation, but Jensen had never shown a distinct preference in his chocolate consumption. He rarely bought it because he needed to watch his physique for work, and most times he’d rather splurge on a beer than a candy.

But fuck Jared couldn’t go and buy his boyfriend a case of beer for Valentine’s Day. That would be so… redneck. His own mother would hit him for doing something so boorish, and she didn’t even like Jensen.

Jared ended up buying the largest, most expensive box of mixed chocolates the store had. He’d just have to pay attention to which ones Jensen seemed to like the most and buy a box of them next year.

The black dachshund stared at Jared as he cashed out, its unfortunately red colored irises simultaneously offering sympathy and begging to be brought home. He wondered if it would be sad to buy himself a dog that had, “I LUV U,” written on its side if it was on clearance. Sales had exceptions, didn’t they? It was okay to buy something a little weird if it was on sale, right?

He’d have to ask Jensen about that once Valentine’s Day was over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hiding the chocolates from Jensen turned out to be a bit more work than Jared had anticipated. For one thing, the giant, red heart box wasn’t easily stowed out of sight in their apartment. For another, Jensen knew that something was going on, and was relentless in searching for clues.

It was exhausting, but Jared didn’t want to have to go out and buy another gift if Jensen managed to find his current one. And he’d feel obligated to do that because he just would.

So by the time that they went to bed on the thirteenth of February, he was exhausted. Jensen was far more inquisitive than Jared had ever thought his lover to be. In minutes he was snoring, and was only awoken by the feeling of Jensen’s lips pressing into his neck.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetheart,” Jensen mumbled against his skin.

“Morning already?” Jared whined even has he arched his neck to give Jensen better access. He rarely used to eat breakfast before Jensen, but he’d developed a distinct fondness for the meal since moving in with him. Morning wood was awesome.

“Past, already had my jog and my shower,” Jensen told him, shaking water droplets from his hair onto Jared’s face.

Well there went the morning sex, and the comfortable, sleepy feeling Jared was harboring as well.

“You’re a jerk,” Jared whined as he rolled away and out of bed, Jensen’s wet towel chasing after him.

“I’m awesome for letting you sleep in when I could’ve been making you give me my present earlier.”

“I thought that Christmas was when you get up early for presents?” Jared asked, confused.

“It is, but I think we’re good at making our own traditions, don’t you?” Jensen asked, eyes looking disturbingly hopeful.

“You’re a present addict,” Jared said flatly.

“You don’t have to put it that way,” Jensen groused.

“I do!” Jared said with glee as he shoved his feet into his slippers and grabbed his robe off the nearby chair.

Jensen looked disappointed by his actions, but Jared had learned the hard way that Jensen, for some unfathomable reason, liked his early morning, rumpled state. Not that Jared was generally opposed to Jensen liking this, but if Jensen was in the mood for presents, then Jared was going to give it to him as soon as possible and get the waiting over with.

“Where are you going?” Jensen sounded befuddled as Jared made his way to the bedroom door.

“To get coffee before we start with the gift giving?” Jared might not eat human food, but caffeine still worked on incubi as well as humans, and he liked chocolates a lot better if he had coffee to chase them down with. He was invariably going to end up with Jensen’s unwanted chocolates as he sorted through his box.

“Oh,” Jensen said like he was a little surprised.

“What?”

“Well, I guess I thought… you know,” Jensen said with a general wave at the sheets.

“I’m more than just my fucking stomach, Jensen,” Jared snapped. Because he was flattered and stuff, but he had a brain. He wasn’t just some one note boyfriend that thought only of sex on important days.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Jensen protested as he came to stand next to Jared, placing a gentle hand on his forearm.

Jared looked away from the earnest gaze being directed at him. He knew that in some part he was overreacting. Humans liked to use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to have sex, and Jared knew that. Jensen’s assumption that he was going to get a really nice roll in the hay was maybe a compliment, but… but Jared wanted it to be romantic. He’d never had a romantic Valentine’s Day, and he wanted this one to be special.

“Hey,” Jensen said as he reached up to turn Jared’s face back, “what’s wrong?”

“You think that I’m just a sex fiend,” Jared pouted.

Jensen looked a little amused by that. “Jared you are a sex fiend, but that doesn’t mean that I think that’s all you are.”

Jared glared at him, but he figured that the effect was lost with the tears building in his eyes. “I just wanted today to be normal, human.”

“Normal humans fuck up Valentine’s Day by making their boyfriends cry, Jay. You don’t want to be human.”

“You thought that I got you sex instead of something meaningful,” Jared accused.

“Sex is something meaningful,” Jensen corrected, “but I didn’t think that just because you’re not human that was all you thought today was going to be about.”

“So you just,” Jared waved back at the bed.

“Was horny after my morning jog,” Jensen told him. “And I may have found my gift earlier,” he added with a flush of guilt on his face.

“You just had to look,” Jared groused unhappily.

“What, you think I’m not going to notice new additions to my underwear drawer?” Jensen huffed.

Jared frowned because, yes he did buy Jensen new underwear, but the man was wearing Hanes. White, compressing HANES that came in a six pack with bonus seventh pair! Jared was sort of embarrassed for him.

And he’d felt bad for Jensen’s junk, so he’d gone out and purchased some good stuff as long as he’d been out present shopping. He’s only gotten around the washing them in fabric softener and carefully pressing the wrinkles out the night before, but that was just a coincidence.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jensen asked warily.

“Umm, that wasn’t exactly a present. I mean, it was, but… More in the, ‘Here Honey, quit torturing your balls, I’ll need them later in life,’ kind of way.”

“You don’t like my underwear?” Jensen looked a little insulted.

“It’s okay,” Jared hedged.

“But you… Jared you realize that most men don’t wear the stuff you do,” Jensen said gently.

Jared felt a little insulted by that. He’d fed on his fair share of humans before he met Jensen, and he’d seen a lot of men in their skivvies. Still he didn’t want to start a fight with Jensen over his cheap, generic underwear, so he smiled a little and shrugged and let the subject drop.

Jensen smiled and shook his head a little, signaling that he also had decided to let the argument over underwear go. “So you got me something else then?”

Nervous butterflies took up in Jared’s stomach at the reminder of his actual present, and he nodded hesitantly.

“Okay, well I got you something too,” Jensen said with a shy smile of his own.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jensen confirmed.

Jared wondered if it was flowers or maybe one of those funny musical cards that play a song when you open them, but when Jensen led him out into the living room, he saw his black dachshund sitting on the coffee table, smiling his stupid, stuffed doggy smile at him.

“He reminded me of you,” Jensen said, his face flushing. “I mean he’s black and has these red eyes so you’d think you’d be scared of him. But he’s really just a giant, lovey goofball with his floppy ears and penchant for pink and…”

Jared leaned over and cut him off with a kiss. “I bought you chocolates,” he admitted as he pulled away.

Jensen grinned at him and asked, “How big a box?”


End file.
